I hate going to Wal-mart. The average Wal-mart shopper is poor, overweight, unhygienic, and ugly. They aren’t like me. I’m better than the average loser.
I can convince myself of my superiority when I’m home. I can watch the beautiful people on television and delude myself into thinking I am one of them. If the only people I see are primetime waifs and buffed out guys, they become my tribe, my link to other humans. See how beautiful we are?
Then I go to Wal-mart. As soon as I take my shopping cart from the septuagenarian greeter I start feeling it -
The despair of a life of poverty, the slow shuffle of welfare recipients as they look for items on which to spend their government hand outs. The greasy haired middle aged women slowly pushing their unwed daughter’s mixed race toddler through the store. The completely undisciplined feral children with sticky fingers and snotty noses practicing their consumer training, begging for the latest Chinese imported crap toy, that will be forgotten by the time they reach the parking lot.
Fat old women in house coats using the motorized handicapped scooters. Their only handicap being the inability to see what they are, and feel any responsibility or guilt for what their lives have become. Dirty people in dirty clothes mortgaging their souls to buy cheap pieces of plastic they don’t really want and don’t really need.
The body odor the bad breath the noise the sticky coating of funk that shellacs the entire warehouse from the deli meats to the garden center.
And then I realize that I am one of them. Once I cross that threshold I am down in the muck with the rest of the human garbage. Then I realize that I have always been down there, I was just able to delude myself into thinking I was something more. When I go to Wal-mart I can’t pretend that I’m better than everyone else. I’m worthless and disgusting. Unlike everyone else, I’m just smart enough to realize it.
That’s what is scary about talking about spirituality. My ideas transcend normal humans. I see patterns in everything – it’s all connected, I swear. I am a hair’s breadth from deeply, truly understanding. I hear the call. I see the light. I am about to ascend into a new form of life – the next step in human evolution. I AM BECOMING!
But if I share my thoughts with you, I become like everyone else.
God I hate Wal-mart.
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Open·Source·Spirituality n. The use of Open Source methodologies in the creation of spiritual belief systems. Followers see themselves as part of a more generalized open source movement, which does not limit itself to software, but applies the same principles in the creation of open source culture.
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OSSCastMissionStatement We are the way we experience our God- through one another. We become the trailblazers of our reality and what we find will surprise us by confirming our vastness again and again. Perhaps, in being reminded of this, you will acknowledge in yourself your ability to be the creator and the created of your reality, to choose what you want to happen and then be surprised by the way it unfolds.
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January 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Isn’t this a compelling piece of writing. I feel, well, compelled to respond with some glib and wise addition. And then I read about the delusion (or illusions if you want) and I wonder what I really have to add?
I will, I think, jump in the pool with you. I also want to feel as though I am better than the Wal-Mart shopping, American Idol watching crowd. Look at me reading Cormac McCarthy and William Faulkner. And sitting in meditation and eating food from “Whole Foods Market”. I am better than the crowd so eloquently described in your post.
And that is really an illusion. Better, or worse. The illusion that we are people at all.
Your post is a truly enlightening piece of writing. Thank you for it.
February 21st, 2008 at 11:42 am
Remember that reality is an illusion created in your own mind.
I see beauty and hope everywhere I go. We just got back from very poor countries in South America, but I saw true beauty in the land that remains unspoiled (probably because the people live very simple lives due to their poverty). And in the people I saw hope, hope for a better life.
When I see no hope, then I am truly sad.